Excerpt from "The Chieftain's Man" from Soulful Sex: The Fantasy Collection
I got the definite sense that he found amusement in my nervousness, for he made no sign of breaking the silence, but instead raised his eyebrows expectantly. So I would have to state my business with no further preamble. “Good Captain Adesteis,” I began, but in addressing him by name out loud I so unnerved myself that I fell silent again.
I had never noticed how scarred his face was. It had been dark the night of the attack, and I had far too much on my mind to notice such details. In the time since then, I had seen him at a distance only a handful of times, from my faraway perch on the camp tower, and in town across a crowded street. Now I saw he looked old, and worn, and as if he had been through some terrible things. It should not have surprised me; he was the Hero of Hidge, and there was a price to be paid for such a title. The lines on his face, the wrinkles around his eyes, the pale marks of blow and blade on his cheeks and forehead were the coinage.
I thought him the most handsome man in all the world.
A feeling rose in my throat that I thought would overwhelm me, and the air seemed to thicken so I could no longer breathe it. My heart raced in my breast. I stared at him, at his face, and his resolute steel blue eyes, and his thick hair tied back in a tail, the black of it streaked with gray. To think that this man had held me in his arms! That I had leaned against him as we rode his horse! It seemed impossible.
Abruptly, in the midst of these overwhelming emotions, a clear thought took hold of my brain: This is no way for a soldier to act. Show some courage. It was true, if I hoped to prove myself worthy of serving Adesteis, I had to demonstrate some mettle. I forced my feelings down, and sat up as straight as I could in the chair. Looking him directly in the eye, I said, “Good sir, I recently received the gift of this bow.” I set my hand upon it in my lap. “I have no idea who my benefactor may be, but the bow bears the Chieftain’s mark upon it. Therefore, either someone stole it from you and I must return it, or the my benefactor is the Chieftain, or it is you.”
I wondered if he had noticed how much my voice trembled.
Adesteis looked at me. He said nothing, but rather bowed his head in a gesture of magnanimity. His expression and bearing said all that needed to be said.
“Sir, I cannot find the words to thank you,” said I in a small voice. “But why would you give me such a gift?”
He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, looking at me as if measuring me. He said, “I heard you wanted to go for a soldier someday.”
My mouth dropped open.
He continued, “You’re too small for anything but archery. If you don’t become brilliant with the bow, you’ll be no good to me.”
“How did you know?” I managed to ask.
“Beyozar is a friend of mine. He had no desire to betray you, but I asked him a direct question. Since I am who I am, he had to answer.”
I felt myself blushing furiously, and told myself there was no reason to feel shame over my aspirations, especially since Adesteis was hardly belittling them. But what was that he had said? If you don’t become brilliant with the bow, you’ll be no good to me. Was he serious?
And what direct question had he asked Beyozar? Why was the son of the Chieftain asking anyone about me?
As my mind raced, Adesteis came to his feet and walked around the table to stand looking down at me. “Stand up, I want to see if the size of your bow is proper,” he told me.
I stood, the bow loosely in my left hand. Adesteis arranged me, steadying the bow’s grip in my hand, arranging the fingers of my right on the string. He stood back and I held up the bow and drew back the string, as if aiming an imaginary arrow across the room.
“The size is good,” he said, “but that’s not how to hold it. Here.”
Adesteis tried posing me by moving my hands but didn’t achieve what he sought. So then he moved behind me, wrapping his left hand over mine on the grip and enfolding my fingers on the string with the other. His chest was pressed full against my back, and his chin brushed the top of my head. He shifted me and pulled back the string impossibly far. “Like this,” he said.
“I can’t hold it back that far, don’t let go,” I said.
“You’ll have to learn to. This isn’t even a regulation size bow, you should be able to manage this much tension.”
Suddenly I realized the extent of the task I’d set before myself. How could I possibly be good enough? I was at such a disadvantage that I could only hope for success by perfect mastery of the limited skills available to me. Clearly Adesteis wasn’t about to have low expectations. What possible reason did I have to believe I could prove myself to him?
And yet he had given me this bow, so there was no turning back. I blinked back the tears that were welling in my eyes, and held the string back with all my might, pressing my strength to match his. My arm began to shake even though Adesteis still held the string with me.
“You can’t hold it back that far,” he said, his voice sonorous against my back. “But you will. Let’s ease up, tell me when it’s comfortable.”
He slowly surrendered control of the bow to me, and backed away. I stood still, aiming my invisible arrow.
“That form is good, very good. Now think how you’re standing. Remember it. I’m going to have Beyozar introduce you to a man who will give you lessons. He’s very good, he’s been teaching my son for years. Very good, and able to keep a secret.”
I lowered the bow and turned to him. “Captain Adesteis, sir, this is all so much trouble for you. I…I don’t feel worthy.”
Adesteis lowered his chin and spoke sternly, but there was a twinkle in his eye that I could plainly see. “We’ll see if you’re worthy,” he said.